I will not succumb to the darkness that threatens to overtake me...

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Zelda Hime

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3 happy moments shattered by failure

[05 Oct 2004|11:39am]
[ mood | amused ]

buahaha... to appease the neneko-neko-chan's that be, I make random post in this journal >3

11 happy moments shattered by failure

[27 Dec 2003|12:40pm]
[ mood | irate ]

*is extremely pissed off*

You know what? The feeling's fucking mutual >:

You know what? This is something I never wanted to do, but I'm actually taking someone off of my friends list. I've never wanted to do anything of the sort before now, but I guess it can't be helped. They make no effort to even talk to me. Sure, I had the person on AIM and MSN but that was because I was hurt, but I'm not anymore. This person has created a journal that I haven't been added to and they couldn't even tell me they were bi-sexual?! I guess you really don't want me knowing things do you? Well I hope you're happy. Goodbye person. It was good while it lasted. Thanks for the memories.


It's not like you fucking made any more effort than I did and I'm so fucking sorry that I rarely post replies in ANYONE'S JOURNAL. I'm sorry that I only have time during the school year to talk to certain people. Sorry that you have to feel that you have to be some fucking exception to the rule.


6 happy moments shattered by failure

[16 Dec 2003|11:15pm]
[ mood | amused ]

great gods of egypt RP. Figures you wait until invite codes are no longer needed to get a journal *rolleyes* (I EVEN OFFERED YOU A CODE GIRL!!! >P)

Everyone give a hey dillyo to renegadepsyche, my #1 henchman of evilness and proud minion of the 10th level of hell >D

3 happy moments shattered by failure

[08 Dec 2003|12:48pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

*cringes at pinched nerve in her shoulder blade*
It's snowing o.o;

*crawls back into bed*

3 happy moments shattered by failure

Erik Letter 2 -- 12-08-03 [08 Dec 2003|01:58am]
[ mood | busy ]

Dear Erik,

(Nov 23 - Dec 21)
Are you going to finish what you have started? Will you be true to your word? Will you make that big, bold move from which there can be no going back? When we say this all so bluntly it sounds stark. Yet you have embarked on your big adventure with your eyes wide open. And despite your misgivings, you know what you are doing. Someone else knows too. They will provide you with vital help and support as long as you trust them. Keep them informed and make them feel included.

I promised myself I wouldn't get all depressed tonight because I think I make Val feel guilty about it for some reason :\ She really has no need to be. Honest. I just need to get these feelings out or they just get bottled up even more and more. I feel guilty about feeling this way around her too because I'm sure she's tired of it. xD Hell, I'm getting tired of it... but no matter how hard I try, I always seem to do everything wrong. -.-
But nope. I'm not going there today. I have a splash page to finish before the crack of dawn and depression does not fit into that schedule.

Talking to celtic_lady and it's helping me to be motivated to work on my splash page >) Major mind gutterage here xD Yup Yup. I am in heaven. *giggles*

Oyasumi tomodatchis!
<3 I miss you love

shattered by failure

[07 Dec 2003|09:17pm]
[ mood | amused ]

*waves around a little LSU flag* Go Tigers!! =D

*is laughing too hard to say what at*

1 happy moments shattered by failure

Erik Letter 1 --- 12-07-03 [07 Dec 2003|01:16am]
[ mood | depressed ]

Dear Erik,

It was so pretty on my way home from my babysitting job tonight. There was just enough moisture on the ground from the rain the day before that it froze like a million tiny crystals -- glistening like diamonds under the light of a 3/4 full moon. And on my way home from work, the clouds were beautiful shades of pink and light blue backdroped against a dark indigo sky. I wish I could just take a color picker to the sky and forever hold these colors. Course, for some reason when I looked at the frost and I looked at the sunset, I thought of you.

I can't believe that 3 years have passed since I last spoke to you. I only wish you could see how much not having you in my life is tearing me up inside. I have loved a couple of other people since, but the love I have for them will never measure up to the love I've felt, and continue to feel, for you. Even with your absence, I take strength and some courage from the fact the someday, in life or death, we will meet eachother again. The only regret that I have about knowing you is the fact that we left so much unsaid and so much undone. I made a promise to you three years ago, a promise that I still hold to this day. I made a promise never to forget you, and to that promise I have held true.

Wishing you were somehow here again,
Wishing you were somehow near,
Sometimes it seems if I just dreamed,
Somehow you would appear.
Wishing I could hear your voice again,
Knowing that I never would...
Dreaming of you won't help me to do,
all that you dreamed I could...
Too many years fighting back tears
Why can't the past just die? ...
Help me to say goodbye...

Umm... I suppose now that I should break down some walls. I've recently discovered some things about myself that I feel that others should know about me... just call it my atempt at letting people know who I am. :\ Because the happy person people used to know isn't really me at all... at least not who I am in the dark.
I'm only going to break down one wall right now as it's 3:15 am and I want to eventually fall asleep x.x;;
This is one of those things for me that my heart registers before my brain and that is the fact that I have just recently discovered that I am bi-sexual. The reason for this is, I never got the kind of love that I needed growing up, and I'm finding that the only way I can get that love is from other people; it matters not whether it is from woman or man. So if you chose to judge me in a negative context because of this, that is your choice. Whatever.


Name: Emily Celeste
Gender: Female
Age: 20
Height: 5'7"
Astrology: Sagittarius
Zodiac: Pig
Sexuality: Bi
Strengths: open minded, listens, loves all who calls her friend
Weaknesses: depression, not trusting others, letting people know her, bottling up her emotions, her friends
Hates: fighting, stuck-up people, being told what to do, un-wanted authority
Color: Gold, Royal Blue, Royal Purple
Hobbies: collecting the Yu-gi-oh! and Digimon TCG's, the internet, writing and reading
Dream: to become a pro-wrestler
Manga: Shaman King, Yu-gi-oh!, Saint Seiya: Knights of the Zodiac, Angelic Layer, Naruto, Hikaru no Go, Dragonball, Dragonball Z, Naruto, Yu Yu Hakusho, G Gundam, Sandland, Gravitation, FAKE, Sailor Moon, Magic Knight Rayearth, Inu-yasha, Ranma 1/2...
Anime: Shaman King, Yu-gi-oh!, Gravitation, Dragonball, G Gundam, Sailor Moon...
Music: Linkin Park, Creed, The Eagles, Kotoya Kinya, ...
Shows: Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: Enterprise, WWE Smackdown, Smallville, Seinfeld...
Movies: Star Trek: Nemesis, The Scorpion King, Holes, The Princess Diaries, What a Girl Wants, Tomb Raider 1 & 2, The Prince of Egypt, Shrek, Lord of the Rings Trilogy...

Pressing On Lyrics

by Relient K

I think we're going somewhere.
We're on to something good here.
Out of mind, out of state.
Trying to keep my head on straight.
I think we're going somewhere.
We're on to something good here.
There's only one thing left to do.
Drop all I have and go with you.

Somewhere back there I left my worries all behind.
My problems fell out of the back of my mind.
We're going and I'm never knowing (never knowing) where we're going.
To go back to where I was would just be wrong.
I'm pressing on.
Pressing on, all my distress is going, going, gone. (pressing on, pressing on)
And I won't sit back, and take this anymore.
'Cause I'm done with that, I've got one foot out the door.
And to go back where I was would just be wrong
I'm pressing on.

I think we're going somewhere.
We're on to something good here.
Out of mind, out of state.
Trying to keep my head on straight.
I think we're going somewhere.
We're on to something good here.
Adversity, we get around it.
Searched for joy, in you I found it.

You look down on me, but you don't look down on me at all.
You smile and laugh, and I feel the love you have for me.
I think we're going somewhere.
We're on to something good here, and we're gonna make it after all

little something from celtic_lady today ^^;Collapse )

Why I love JamesCollapse )

I love you now and forever <3

shattered by failure

[06 Dec 2003|03:06pm]
[ mood | confused ]

I just spent the last 20 minutes trying to help this poor guy with his homework - and I tried doing a 3D reference before I realized that it wasn't a 3D reference at all -.-

baka em-me >

3 happy moments shattered by failure

FICCYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *steal them and die* :@ [02 Dec 2003|02:18am]
[ mood | creative ]

Dreaming of You
By Zelda Martial
Inspired by RP's with Shadow Harle
Rating: NC-17 for graphic sexual content
Genre: Yu-gi-oh! - created by Kazuki Takahashi
Content: Shonen-ai
Pairing: Ryuuji Otogi x Mutou Yuugi

Coming Towards the Light
By Zelda Martial
Inspired by a really kickass bakura x ryou fic I read
Rating: NC-17 for graphic sexual content
Genre: Yu-gi-oh! - created by Kazuki Takahashi
Content: Shonen-ai
Pairing: Mutou Yuugi x Yami no Bakura

Two Souls Lost in a Puzzle
By Zelda Martial
Inspired by Serialjoe88 *what would the world be without a yami/yuugi fic? >)*
Rating: ... haven't quite decided yet - most likely NC-17
Genre: Yu-gi-oh! - created by Kazuki Takahashi
Content: Shonen-ai Comedy
Pairing: Mutou Yuugi x Yami no Yuugi

The Good, The Bad, and the Horny
By Zelda Martial
Inspired by Serialjoe88
Rating: NC-17 for graphic sexual content
Genre: Yu-gi-oh! - created by Kazuki Takahashi
Content: Shonen-ai
Pairing: Yami no Bakura x Yami no Yuugi

Succumbing to Seduction
By Zelda Martial
Inspired by Serialjoe88 *and her obssesion with Seto Kaiba >)*
Rating: NC-17 for graphic sexual content
Genre: Yu-gi-oh! - created by Kazuki Takahashi
Content: Shonen-ai
Pairing: Seto Kaiba x Yami no Yuugi

*a possible Seto/Mokuba fic for celtic_lady may be in the works (*points down*)*

What is Love?
By Zelda Martial
Inspired by celtic_lady
Rating: NC-17 for graphic sexual content and incest
Genre: Yu-gi-oh! - created by Kazuki Takahashi
Content: Shonen-ai & Incest
Pairing: Kaiba Seto x Kaiba Mokuba

WTF?! *tentative*
By Zelda Martial
Inspired by Mab aka G-chan
Rating: PG *maybe*
Genre: Yu-gi-oh! created by Kazuki Takahashi
Content: suggestive shonen-ai themes - comedy
Pairing Yami no Bakura x Shadi

The Guardian's Way
By Zelda Martial
Rating Pending
Genre: Yu-gi-oh! - by Kazuki Takahashi
Main Character: Shadi

Shrouded in Darkness *title tentative*
By Zelda Martial
Inspired by my active imagination
Rating Pending
Genre: Yu-gi-oh! - created by Kazuki Takahashi
Content: Mary-sue *get over it*
Main Charaters: Zelda Martial & Renee Martial

*non-yugioh fics*

The Legned of Zelda
By Zelda Martial
Inspired by my active imagination *and a 14 year old invisible friend*
Current Rating: PG
Genre: Power Rangers - no idea who by now, but it's not me -.-
Content: Mary-sue *get over it*
Main Character: Zelda Martial

6 happy moments shattered by failure

[30 Nov 2003|02:22am]
[ mood | curious ]

to quoteth teh fridge

Hrm... why not?

Basically, comment on this entry all anonymous-like. Pour your heart, your soul out, if you need to. Confess to things, share your hopes and dreams, your fantasies... whatever you like. It's like a free chance to mock the shit out of me or just spill whatever it is you need to spill anonymously. Think of it as, say, a confession box. I'm not going to try to figure out who you are, because that doesn't interest me. Just blabber on about nothing, if that's what you need to do.

I say spread this shit out. It's seriously actually kind of interesting seeing what other people have written. Not from an "i'm a nosy bastard" perspective, 'course.

Pwease? :3
*public entry because otherwise the anonymous function won't work* xD

shattered by failure

[22 Nov 2003|10:54pm]
[ mood | amused ]

and the conversation on YIM that spawned the aboveCollapse )

2 happy moments shattered by failure

[12 Nov 2003|11:32am]
[ mood | calm ]

Okay, you wanted a 'public' entry so here it is.

I want to set a few things straight.

I never had a problem with you yesterday. You said that I was the one to yell at you when you were the one who started off yelling at me for no apparent 'legitimate' reason. I never expect people to share my opinion on everything but you have to give me a good reason why I should consider something from your point of view. Don't expect anyone to like anything you do. And after last night, several things were apparent to me. One of them was that you've obviously never read the Yu-gi-oh! manga or it would have been clear to you that Kazuki Takahashi created Yu-gi-oh! based on friendship, believing in oneself, and ancient Egyptian mythology.

And with our first IM conversation, you totally went about the wrong way as far as getting my attention. You were so vauge about what you were yelling at me for that I was the one who had to pry it out of you. From your conversation with me, to the conversations with the other RPers, you've lied and I know it even if no one else does. You've stereotyped us because we do happen to be all female and don't respect us. You judged me by my RP character and not who I was as a person, and judged my friends because of something I said.

And I want to make one thing extremely clear to you: I NEVER TOLD MY FRIENDS TO YELL AT YOU LET ALONE IM YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE. In point of fact, I specifically told them NOT to, so what they did, they did of their own device. Their actions are purely their own and I had nothing to do with it other than the fact that I did post part of our conversation just because I found it funny as all hell.

In 18 days, I'll be 20 years old and in my life, I've had to put up with crap from people like you and I've learned to look beyond it because quite frankly, I stopped caring what other people think about me and what I do. What you say about me is purely your opinion and I could care less.

I piss off one girl, she tells all her friends, I have a million IMs insulting me and calling me a jerk, which I REALLY don't need, I'm made fun of for my weight and looks at school all day and with my friends, I REALLY don't F***ING need people like you!

I just want to point out that if you're going to swear, SWEAR already. Anyway, as I stated before, you never pissed me off. The only reason why I posted our conversation in my journal in the first place is because I thought it was funny as all hell. And since when did I ever say that I was a stark raving beauty? I know what it's like to be teased about your weight and looks - it's something that I'm still struggling with myself. You have to be the better man by looking beyond what people say and not to take anything personally.

You've insulted me *or attempted to anyway*, you've been rude to me, you've been rude to my friends. You've fabricated lies and tried convince them of stuff that clearly isn't true.

If you want friends,

Honesty and Respect

go a long ways. If you have that, people won't care about what you look like.

Was one more thing that I was going to say, but now I can't remember what it is...


shattered by failure

[09 Nov 2003|07:19pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Random Pyro666: Don't get jelous of my fione body. (pronouce fi-oine-)
Shadow Harle: but still xD if someone that short is heavier than someone that tall... >.>
Shadow Harle: there's something wrong there xD

RP chat reguarding our characters height and weightCollapse )

and a little randomness...

DarkLittleAibou: *poke* (flush)
Bilbowski77: plop!
Bilbowski77: woot
DarkLittleAibou: bah
DarkLittleAibou: *flushes uncontrolably*
DarkLittleAibou: you're supposed to do that before I flush xD
Bilbowski77: but you flush randomly, I can't 'elp it captain!
DarkLittleAibou: xD

And I have come home to Limp Bizkit O.O

1 happy moments shattered by failure

[08 Nov 2003|09:28pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

You’re my sunshine after the rain
You’re the cure against my fear and my pain
Cuz I’m losing my mind when you’re not around
It’s all...it’s all...
It’s all because of you

Don't ask me why I posted that. yacre got me into listening to my 98 degrees CD's again >>; and that happens to be my favorite song. xD

Apparently I'm having religious issues. While I believe in God, I don't believe in a book *bible for instance* telling me that something has to be done this way and can't be done any other way.
Layout came about because A) I'm seriously addicted to Gravitation again B) I wanted the layout

Was talking to celtic_lady about some stuff last night and she got me thinking... it's where the text came from...
And my big thing is, if homosexuality occurs in nature, why is it so wrong for people to be homosexual? Why? Religion. That's why.

anyway, blah!

5 happy moments shattered by failure

*twitch* [03 Nov 2003|08:34pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

I'm going to make it a point that the first people I instant message on AIM are going to be krazysidhe and duo_makksuweru in order to get to know them better. :)

I was highly irritated at my internet late morning/early afternoon today >< It did NOT want to work. I tried a couple things and after restarting my computer 3 or so times, I realized that it was not a problem on my end. n.u; Something must have gone bonkers at my ISP because I came back at around 4 and it worked perfectly fine.

I did finally find my book that I lost last week and I found it while looking for a pen to write krazysidhe a letter. n.n; Didn't read it last night though just because at that time, I had begun the letter to Jaya n.n; Decided to finish reading it while I was taking a bath instead. OMFR!! I'm going to go look for #14 on Wednesday n.n;;!! Peter David ='s GOD!!! o.o; krazysidhe and celtic_lady have both gotten me in the mood to read slash novels... must look around n.n;

anyway, blah! Miss you indilime! I must get you at least a b-day card before the 17th >>; <3

3 happy moments shattered by failure

[02 Nov 2003|11:40pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

New layout and and RP to explain it xD

Will post tomorrow ^^;

*huggles her RP gang and all her LJ friends*


25 happy moments shattered by failure

*twitch* It's snowing... [02 Nov 2003|10:48am]
[ mood | pissed off ]

Am I just a little bit pissed off? Well god, that's the 'understatement' of the century... and my mom seems to think I have communication problems?

you know what? forget it... I'm extremely angry right now and I don't want bother anyone...

(God forbid that Emily can ever be happy. God forbid that she can have something she really wants. God forbid that she can show any emotion whatsoever. Christ, anyone wonder why I'm a freakin introvert?! It's because I DON'T HAVE ANY OTHER CHOICE! *twitch*)

The only thing I have to look fwd to daily is the Yu-gi-oh! RPG that I'm in and talking to 3 very special people to me.

I'm sick of being classified as 'the good child' and then the moment I do something wrong, it's the end of the freaking world cuz heaven forbid that she can do anything right... *twitch* I'm sick of people *coughmothercoughmothercough* trying to turn me into soemone I"m freaking not...

god... just forget it...

3 happy moments shattered by failure

FRIENDS ONLY [24 Oct 2003|11:35pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

My journal's friends only for personal reason that I don't wish to explain.

If you were once on my friends list and would like to be added back, leave a message.

If you haven't met me before, all I ask is that you share a few interests in common with me, don't mind random spats of evilness/insanity, and put up with my off days since we all have those once in awhile.

My favorite shows/mangas/animes:

Star Trek
Power Rangers
Shaman King
(and a bit of Yaoi on the side)

And please note that I talk about the first three a LOT.

Respect my ideals and views, as well as my friends (and their ideals and views) and you shall be respected as well.

If you pass, please leave a message.


shattered by failure

[23 Oct 2003|03:30pm]

This duel was too freaking close for my taste -.-' Came down to my Princess of Tsuguri wining it for me x.X;Collapse )

shattered by failure

[22 Oct 2003|05:36am]
[ mood | amused ]

The most pathetic FAQ you'll ever see *chuckles*

*will edit more in later*

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